This boat is “sinking”

I listen to Oprah radio on my way to and from work (except for one
show where the host annoys me.) During breaks they do “Live Your Best
Life” moments featuring various experts, with tips on everything from
decluttering your home through eating, exercise and mediation. Over
the weekend I heard a tip that said the best way to retain new
information, to really learn it, is to give your mind space and time
to let the new lesson sink in.


Even though I knew that, it really helped to hear it again. I beat
myself up for needing space and time to let things sink, even though I
am a natural introvert. For those who misunderstand, that does not
mean I am shy, retiring or reclusive. (See one of my favorite articles
ever about introversion.) I am actually expressive and social. But I
am also drained by people and interaction, especially when I am not
given the time and space away for things to sink. I gain energy from
time alone and require time to process events internally – I need time
to let things sink before I can really understand them, and then I
often understand them with more nuance and depth than others.


I am only now beginning to own this about myself and realize that it
is not something I need to apologize for or make up for, and that I
can stand up in the face of the office tanks who threaten to run me
down with their ideas (much like the man who stood down the tank
during the protests in Beijing’s Tiananmen Square). It’s so hard to
do, but I need to do it.


The NTL workshop I went to a few weeks ago was pivitol for me, more
and more so I am learning as the lessons continue to sink. I learned
there that my role is key – the seer and the (often reluctant) sayer.
I am working now to sink that into my role in the day-to-day of my
team, my department and my organization, all of which are changing
dramatically.


Right now all the information I am taking in and processing is a bit
overwhelming, especially as the pull of the daily grind continues even
as the spoken and unspoken shifts cause things to come apart. I am
feeling the urge to drift a bit…push away from shore and see what
sinks.


In the words of Annie Lennox, “Can’t you see, this boat is sinking,
this boat is sinking, this boat is sinking….”