We had an insane storm here yesterday. It blew in at 3:30 and the worst was over by 4:00 but it took out trees, cars, houses and power in one fell swoop. Watching from my window, it looked like a snapshot of the time I watched Hurricane Katrina blow in on Key West (only a category one at the time, but that was enough hurricane for my lifetime.)
The power went out at the office about 4:00. We all stood around in the dark for half an hour before trekking home. I live about 10 miles from the office and you could barely tell there had been a storm at my house, but the drive home, through my old neighborhood of Del Ray, was surreal. Most of that area is still in the dark, and likely will be for a while as the clean up of tree debris goes on.
From the reports on the news this morning, I was sure there would be no power at the office today. I logged on from home and checked my e-mail. No word. So I took my dog for a walk. On the walk I all but convinced myself it was a BONUS DAY, a day of "working from home" while barely working. Being able to laze around unwashed and play, meditate, paint or whatever suited my fancy while once in a while checking in on e-mail and sitting in on my two scheduled conference calls. The prospect of bonus time is thrilling, an unexpected gift.
Unfortunately, I came back from walking the dog to find an e-mail that the power was on at the office. With the wind having gone out of my sails, I drug myself through the rest of my normal morning routine, mourning the loss of my bonus time.
Now, tomorrow is Saturday, a free day - meaning a day without scheduled toil. I have no plans, except maybe to exercise. My boyfriend is out of town, so I'm alone. I don't really even have any errands that HAVE to be done. In a sense, it's a completely wide open day. You would think that this prospect would fill me with the same kind of thrill as the prospect of a bonus day today. But no.
Thinking about the wide-openness of the weekend, for some reason, has a different energy to it. It's free time, but it's not special free time. It's not a surprise gift. It's open space that I knew was coming and, to be honest, am not sure what to do with, which makes me feel all the more anxious to fill it. Whereas the prospect of a full, unscheduled day of not doing which I was hoping for today made me feel luxurious and lazy and full of anticipation for the relaxation to come. Maybe it's the feeling of being "off" when others are "on" that I like; the vibe of slacking and freedom that I don't get on a run-of-the-mill weekend...
I wonder how I can imbue a regular Saturday with that same bonus day feeling. Maybe what I want is the feeling of taking a day off instead being given one...Hm...Now I may be on to something there. Can I "take" Saturday off, or does it not work that way? I'll test it and see.
Happy weekend to you all!
No comments:
Post a Comment