I just heard that very phrase again this morning. I’ve heard it many
times in my career when an unpopular decision is made by those in
charge and the people “down below” begin to grumble…Usually they are
grumbling, not because of the decision per se, but because they
weren’t involved in the conversation about the decision, were not
given the respect and opportunity to give their input and feel the
decision was made in secret, behind closed doors. Whether their
feedback would be taken or not is mostly irrelevant. It’s the
asking…the consideration, the empathy to put people over processes,
especially since processes need people to get done.
That killer phrase is never delivered directly to me, because I play
the role of one who is on board. But most of the time I am not on
board, at least not 100%. And hearing that phrase makes me want to
jump overboard.
I have to take responsibility for my own attitude and my own part of
this. And right now I feel guilty. Guilty for not speaking up about
things that I have seen that are ridiculous. Guilty for speaking up
about these things to the wrong people in a negative, subversive and
passive-aggressive way. Guilty for being immature. Guilty for not
having the courage or respect for everyone to speak up even if it
would do no good.
So this is yet another theme that arises and follows me. Go along to
get along. “Get on board or get out.” What assumptions and beliefs are
tied to this pattern that I need to examine, to question?
The most obvious item to me is my relationship with authority.
Because I internalized years ago that to respect authority means not
to question it, I learned that I must dissent “in private” which
manifested as passive-aggressive rebellion. This belief and the
subsequent reaction do not serve me any more. I need to grow in this
regard. Rise above and use my voice.
I won’t go down with the ship. Not like that.
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