I am sitting here preparing for a meeting, well that's the story I'm telling myself about what I'm doing. What I'm really doing is making myself anxious about all the things I won't be working on while I'm in the meeting, which means I am neither preparing for the meeting nor working on anything else.
How often do I do this - not work on all the things that need to be worked on because there are so many things that "need" worked on, and if I work on one I can't give attention to the others? A lot. Most of the time, really. So, what if I worked on what I am working on while I am working on it and consciously choose NOT to work on, or even think about, the things I am not working on....even if they need attention too?
The fear of course is that if I don't think about all the things that need to be worked on, that none of them will get done...Except that while I am busy thinking about all the things I have to work on, I do so to the exclusion of working on any of them.
In today's world of instant and frantic everything, it's easy to get fragmented and, in turn, become completely paralyzed by the volume of stuff that seems to need attention. I am not a super hero. I am a 44 year-old woman who is facing a lof of the stuff that comes with being a 44-year-old woman (much of which is not under my control.)
I can only work on one thing at a time (sometimes I can only work on half a thing at a time, if I'm being honest...), and that's okay. The other stuff will be there waiting for me when I am ready for it. And if it's not - if it goes away or magically gets done without my doing it - well, then who am I to complain?
Sometimes my over-responsibility disorder actually leads me to be irresponsible. Today I am going to practice working on what I am working on, and forgetting about the rest while I am doing so.
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