Finding the Courage to Change...

Last week I completed the first course on my journey to a certificate in Organizational Development. I literally spent the first two and a half days of the four-day course completely self-absorbed, flagellating myself with doubt. The last day and a half, I finally broke open and was able to be present and confident that whatever came was what was to be.

Now I am back in my life, in my job. And I see opportunity all around me to begin to take steps, to perhaps introduce what I am learning into my day-to-day and perhaps even let go of what is not working for me here while still being here AND contributing even more. (There's SO much potential!)

But first I have to be brave enough to recontract with my boss, because if I start to shift without communicating, there will be an even bigger rub than the one I feel now as I pretend to care about and engage in my current duties. Actually, back up...First, I need to get clear with myself on what I would propose to shift. A conceptual conversation about wanting to help work on breaking down the silos and help the organization realign and re-energize isn't going to help me sell my case to my boss...not if I don't detail it and buy it myself first.

All I know is that I need to start to make some changes, even if they are somewhat small, sooner rather than later. Because the longer I see what I want but have to see it through the lens of what I don't want, the farther away it seems and the smaller my life feels.